this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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