so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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