The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
