Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize