we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
