dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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