Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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