at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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