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Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
