So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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