Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
