You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
