I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize