I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
