went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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