Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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