its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just cut my nipple shaving
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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