hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There r osticjed everywhere
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
