Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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