i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
