What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
