somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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