you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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