As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
