I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
