so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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