mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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