I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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