She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we're making bets on your personal life
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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