All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
