i permit you to call me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
