your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
this boner is exhausting
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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