I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
