Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
