I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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