he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
