i think my mom watched the whole time
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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