I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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