Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
