well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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