Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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