Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
