I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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