omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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