so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
