Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
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I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
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I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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