You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
