we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
