Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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