he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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