I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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