i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
