I bet he comes in French.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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