That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
