I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
