holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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