I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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