Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
