That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
