well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
sex in a hospital.. check
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
