i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize